제가 쓴 영어문장 좀 봐주세요

There are a few things that need to be changed for a healthy life. First, my throat hurts because I used my smartphone too much. To fix this, I will try to keep my phone at eye level. Second, I eat too much fast food. I will eat fast food only once a week. Third, I stay up too late at night. I will aim to sleep before 12 o'clock. I will do my best to keep this promise.



There are a few things I need to make some changes for a healthier life. First, I smartphon use my too much, which makes I have a pain in my neck To fix this, I'll try to hold my phone at eye level. Second, I eat too much fast food. I will eat fast food only once a week.. Third, I stay up too late at night. I'll aim to sleep before 12 o'clock. I'll do my best to keep these promises.


어느게 더 나을까요 문장 괜찮은가요? 이상한 부분 다듬어주시면 감사하겠습니다

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